"CP" can mean "Crazy Person", but don't blame me.

grenadeinagarden: One of my biggest fears is coming off annoying or clingy. I always feel like a...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 04:50:04 -0400

One of my biggest fears is coming off annoying or clingy. I always feel like a bother. To everyone.

Story of my life…

It just occurred to me that my 27th birthday would also be Thomas Jefferson’s 270th, if that...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 23:33:41 -0400

It just occurred to me that my 27th birthday would also be Thomas Jefferson’s 270th, if that was possible, mind slightly blown.

Soul of a Writer: My Life in Words: Disability is Like Hair

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:22:23 -0400

Soul of a Writer: My Life in Words: Disability is Like Hair:

soulofawriter:

WARNING: This is just my opinion.

I have a disability. It’s called cerebral palsy, and I’ve been living with it for the entirety of my existence. In those twenty-one years, I’ve come to a startlingly pervasive conclusion regarding the condition: it can be seen by some as analogous to hair.

…

Slightly altered mission statement for a famous organization...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 19:23:00 -0400

Mission:

At Sarcasm Speaks, our goal is to change the future for all who struggle with sarcasm spectrum personalities.

We are dedicated to funding global psychological research into the causes, encouragement, advancement, and spread of sarcasm; to raising public awareness about sarcasm and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this personality. We are committed to raising the funds necessary to support these goals.

Sarcasm Speaks aims to bring the sarcastic community together as one strong voice to urge the government and private sector to listen to our snark and take action to address this urgent global formality crisis. It is our firm belief that, working together, we will find the missing pieces of the puzzle.

Sarcasm Speaks. It’s time to start laughing.

Worf/Morgan and B'Elanna/Garcia talk - courtesy of catherinebruce

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 07:29:17 -0400

Worf: It is suggested here in this script I have that I call you “Baby Girl” while flirting with you.
B’Elanna: …what?
Worf: It says right here. *shows her*
B’Elanna: *grits teeth* Fine.
Worf: *clears his throat, then says in his Intimidating While Trying Not To Be voice* Baby Girl, I need that Super Computer hacked into as soon as you can.
B’Elanna: *dry* Don’t worry, stud, I’m on it and you will have your information faster than you can say “Your place or mine.”
Worf: *Gruff* You’re a goddess, Garcia.
B’Elanna: And you’re - Seriously, wtf? Do you really expect me to say this shit to you?
Worf: It says so in the script.
B’Elanna: HA! If they expect me to say this, I’ll shove this script so far up their collective asses that confetti will shoot from their noses!
Worf: You are…a very angry woman.
B’Elanna: I AM half-Klingon.
Worf: You are very angry even for a Klingon.
B’Elanna: *grumbles* My husband likes it.
Worf: How do you propose we fix this?
B’Elanna: Time for a rewrite!
*five minutes later*
Worf: *clears his throat again* GET ME THAT ACCESS NOW
B’Elanna: YOU’LL GET IT WHEN I GAIN THE ACCESS, YOU LOUSY P’TAQ! I’M NOT A MIRACLE WORKER, DESPITE MY SUPERIOR SKILL! There. I like that version much better.
Worf: As do I. Prune juice?
B’Elanna: …No. But thanks. …Got any Peanut Butter Toast?

Apparently some new fans of Doctor Who are calling themselves "Dweeks", not "Whovians". I think we need to remedy this. Reblog if you call yourself a WHOVIAN.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 03:01:13 -0400

sonic-setting-24601:

The hell is this “Dweek” BS….

This song is so me it’s damn-near creepy. “How many...

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 02:54:08 -0400

This song is so me it’s damn-near creepy. “How many friends have I really got? I can count them all on one hand”……….

flutterflyinvasion: love love love love love I’m a...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 05:40:07 -0400

flutterflyinvasion:

love love love love love

I’m a doctor, not the goddamn Loch Ness Monster!

(for flutterflyinvasion and shewhoisanna)

"A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction."

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 02:49:00 -0500

““A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction.””

- Reinette, Doctor Who, 2x4, “The Girl in the Fireplace”

Random Doctor Who writing..

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 01:34:28 -0500

“Only the good die young.”

“You are the weakest link, goodbye,” these are possibly the scariest words you could hear in the Gamestation, but Rose has been through it before. She knows she never wants to do that again, especially considering the events that followed, but if there was a way to change the course of things, she would give anything at this point. Sure, she still has a Doctor, but he’s not the one she knows, he’s not the one who made her comfortable in the TARDIS, and she knows she’ll never hear the word “fantastic” the same way ever again, as long as she’s alive. She can’t help but wonder what would happen if she did take the TARDIS back to the Gamestation. There surely is a risk of destroying the timeline, and who knows what that might cause? Is finding the man she’d come to love worth destroying the universe? Of course it is, in her mind anyway. With that, she slams the TARDIS door shut, and starts it up. Waking up to the whirring of his own machine, the Doctor asks Rose, “where are we going? And WHEN?”. With the expression of a stone, she says “We’re going to find you.”

Puzzled, the Doctor can manage nothing more than “I’m right here”. The TARDIS is well on its way now, and she says “no….the old you….the man who brought me here. I want to see him again.” “But Rose, you can’t do that, you know what will happen if the timeline changes!” “Yeah Doctor, I know, and I don’t care. You may be awesome, but nothing is fantastic anymore. “ At that moment, Rose sees the familiar and scary sight of the Gamestation. “Well, we’re here now, either you’re with me or you’re not. Stay here I you wish, but I’m going in. The Doctor finds the loudest and most intense voice he can to say “YOU CAN’T DO THAT, YOU’LL DIE, I’LL DIE, HE WILL DIE! Is that what you want?” “I just want to see him again, even if it is for the last time ever. I just can’t let it go, especially after the way it came to an end. “ “Rose, calm down, it didn’t come to an end, not at all. You’re still here, the TARDIS is still here, and whether you believe it or not, HE is still here too. I have all his memories, his lust for life and time travel, and I feel the same way about you that he did. My face is different, but my mind is still the same one you met the first time you stepped inside the TARDIS. If you do this, it’s all gone, all of it. Even your mother, your home, your friends, all gone. You’ll have to just believe me, you’ll have to accept me. He’s not dead, he’s me.” “I can, Doctor, I can, but it will take some time, bear with me, I’ll make it.”

Everyone's A Little Bit Spastic

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 18:52:00 -0500

Everyone’s A Little Bit Spastic

Cripston:
Say, Ceep, can I ask you a question?

Ceep Monster:
Sure!

Cripston:
Well, you know Cripple Monster upstairs?

Ceep Monster:
Uh huh.

Cripston:
Well, he’s Cripple Monster, and you’re Ceep Monster.

Ceep Monster:
Right.

Cripston:
You both have palsy.

Ceep Monster:
Yeah.

Cripston:
Are you two related?

Ceep Monster:
What?! Cripston, I’m surprised at you! I find that ableist!

Cripston:
Oh, well, I’m sorry! I was just asking!

Ceep Monster:
Well, it’s a touchy subject.
No, not all Cripples are related.
What are you trying to say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh?

Cripston:
No, no, no, not at all. I’m sorry,
I guess that was a little ableist.

Ceep Monster:
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you’re talking about the
subject of falling on your face.

Cripston:
Well, look who’s talking!

Ceep Monster:
What do you mean?

Cripston:
What about that special Palsy School you told me about?

Ceep Monster:
What about it?

Cripston:
Could someone like me go there?

Ceep Monster:
No, we don’t want MDers like you-

Cripston:
You see?!

You’re a little bit spastic.

Ceep Monster:
Well, you’re a little bit too.

Cripston:
I guess we’re both a little bit spastic.

Ceep Monster:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do…

Cripston:
But I guess it’s true.

Ceep Monster:
Between me and you,
I think

Both:
Everyone’s a little bit spastic
Sometimes.
Doesn’t mean we can’t
Walk a straight liiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
Look around and you will find
No one’s really spasm-blind.
We’ve all hit a crack
And hurt our face
None of us is speedy,
Let’s not race.

Cripston:
Now not big gaps, like the grand canyon
or the ones in bad city streets-

Ceep Monster:
No!

Cripston:
No, just little gaps like the ones between cobblestones
or the platforms at the goddamn train station.

Ceep Monster:
Right!

Both:
Everyone’s a little bit spastic
Today.
So, everyone’s a little bit spastic
Okay!
Crip jokes might a bit crass,
But you laugh because
You fell on your ass.
Don’t take them as
Personal attacks.
We know how that jaw feels -
When it cracks!

Cripston:
All right, stop me if you’ve heard this one.

Ceep Monster:
Okay!

Cripston:

There’s a plane going down and there’s only
one parachute. And there’s a wheelie, a walkie…

Ceep Monster:
And a normie!

Jerry Lewis:

Heeeey…what are you talkin’ about Ceep?

Ceep Monster:
Uh…

Jerry Lewis:
You were telling a normie joke!

Cripston:
Well, sure, Jerry, but lots of people tell normie jokes.

Jerry Lewis:
I don’t.

Cripston:
Well, of course you don’t - you’re a normie!
But I bet you tell spazzy jokes, right?

Jerry Lewis:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Spazzes!

Cripston:
You don’t think you could be a little spastic?

Jerry Lewis:
Well, damn, I guess you’re right.

Ceep Monster:
You’re a little bit spastic.

Jerry Lewis:
Well, you’re a little bit too.

Cripston:
We’re all a little bit spastic.

Jerry Lewis:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.

Cripston/Ceep Monster:
We’re glad you do.

Jerry Lewis:
It’s sad but true!
Everyone’s a little bit spastic -

All right!

Ceep Monster:
All right!

Cripston:
All right!

Jerry Lewis:
All right!
Spazziness has never been
Just a palsy fight.

All:
If we all could just admit
That we are spastic a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it’s tough,
Maybe our lives wouldn’t
Be so rough.

Cripston:
Oh, Roosevelt, do I feel good.

Jerry Lewis:
Now there was a fine upstanding normie!

Cripston:
Who?

Jerry Lewis:
FDR.

Ceep Monster:
But, Jerry, FDR was born crippled.

Jerry Lewis:
No, FDR was a normie.

Ceep Monster:
No, FDR was born crippled.

Jerry Lewis:
No, I’m pretty sure that FDR was a -

Cripston:
Guys, guys…FDR had Polio!

Malformed Brian:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Jerry Lewis:
Spasticity!

Malformed Brian:
Cool.

Cripsmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out r-r-recyclables!

Cripston:
What did she say??

Malformed Brian:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don’t laugh at her!
You’ve never heard a stutter before?

Ceep Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone’s a little bit spastic.

Malformed Brian:
I’m not!

Cripston:
Oh no?

Malformed Brian:
Nope!

How many inspirational wives
Have you got?

Cripsmas Eve:
What? Brian!

Cripston:
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Spazzy-American!

Cripsmas Eve:
I know you are not
Intending to be
But calling me Inspirational is
Offensive to me!

Malformed Brian:
I’m sorry, honey, I love you.

Christmas Eve:
And I love you.

Malformed Brian:
But you’re spastic, too.

Cripsmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
My hands can’t hold
My money
And my wheelchair has
No power.
When I get in a taxi-cab
It takes a fucking hour.

Cripston:
Me too!

Ceep Monster:
Me too!

Jerry Lewis:
I can’t even get a taxi!

All:
Everyone’s a little bit spastic
It’s true.
But everyone is just about
As spastic as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are spastic a little bit,
And everyone sees that it’s not
Just CP
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!

Cripsmas Eve:
E-E-Everyone’s a little bit spastic!

The night before the Day of Mourning...

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 02:01:00 -0500

I find this Autism Speaks Build-a-Bear picture being shared on Facebook…This whole thing is wrong, and the timing is really wrong. If you want to support autistics, try another organization like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. Autism Speaks doesn’t use their money the way they should. The biggest chunk of their funding goes to more advertising and fundraising. On top of that, Autism Speaks doesn’t let autistics speak. (If you see a few of their high-priced, celebrity-endorsed commercials, you’ll see what I mean. “Hi, my name is […] and my [relative] has autism”. That’s not an autistic person speaking, that’s somebody attempting to speak for them. Check out ASAN’s page for the Day of Mourning: http://autisticadvocacy.org/2013/02/disability-day-of-mourning-remember-lives-taken/

anonynaila: subvertcliche: mello-dramatic: Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book...

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 05:14:51 -0500

anonynaila:

subvertcliche:

mello-dramatic:

Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.

Everyone. I mean it.

THIS IS THE BEST POST

I HAVE EVER SEEN

EVER

they really do mean everyone

Maybe I’ll give this a shot….

All day, every day. facepalm

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 04:28:44 -0500

All day, every day. *facepalm*

chronicillnesscat: [Image: 6-piece blue colored background with...

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 05:56:31 -0500

chronicillnesscat:

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “I’m not moving. You can’t make me.”]

This.

besitos-for-a-day: GOD BLESS THIS FUCKING POST “Common...

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:06:32 -0500

besitos-for-a-day:

GOD BLESS THIS FUCKING POST

“Common murder weapons and their alternate uses”? A few thoughts on this…

1) none of these things is a murder weapon, murder IS the alternate use.

2) golf clubs, baseball bats, and motor vehicles are missing, Murder is wrong, not guns.

3) One rifle says the “alternate use” is hunting, the other rifle says “nothing”…they’re both rifles, they’re no different. There’s nothing here to show me that the second rifle is fully automatic, so I have to treat them the same way, and you should too.

4) Again, murder is the problem, not guns. Blaming the murder on the gun is like blaming alcoholism on the booze.

Finally learning how Rugby is played

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:02:52 -0500

Been meaning to do this for a while, and there’s finally somebody who is more than willing to brainwash me. So much win. Thank you, iseefearinyoureyeshuman

iseefearinyoureyeshuman: cpmeanscrazyperson: iseefearinyoureyes...

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:14:06 -0500

iseefearinyoureyeshuman:

cpmeanscrazyperson:

iseefearinyoureyeshuman:

cpmeanscrazyperson:

iseefearinyoureyeshuman:

flutterflyinvasion:

iseefearinyoureyeshuman:

I love this song, and always think of Sporks and Bones when it comes on.

EVERY MEMORY COMES ON

WHEN I HEAR THAT OLD SONG

THAT WE USED TO SING

WITH THE WORDS ALL WRONG

I REMEMBER THE FACES

AND FAMILIAR PLACES

AND I SING ALONG

Duckface Hunt

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:10:05 -0500

Duckface Hunt

mymsandme: californiakitten: I honestly don’t remember what it feels like to not be in pain. Me...

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:55:20 -0500

mymsandme:

californiakitten:

I honestly don’t remember what it feels like to not be in pain.

Me either, honey, me either.

Same. There’s blood in my painstream.